The Simple Gospel

By: Brenda Wieneke

While chatting with a friend, I asked a question that stopped us both in our tracks:

At what point in knowing someone do they consider you a friend?

We sat in silence, each turning the question over in our minds. It’s one I’ve asked myself many times, yet I’ve never landed on a clear answer. I’ve met many women, some in similar seasons of life, others not, but the one thing we all seem to share is a deep desire for truly authentic friendships.

You meet someone. You invite them out. You reach out again and again. Often, it doesn’t turn out how we’ve hoped. After enough tries, you give up.

And when we see others posting about their friendships, trips, shared experiences, and events, the thoughts start to creep in:

How do other women just “find their people”?

Why do others seem easy to love, but I feel hard to choose?

Am I too much… or not enough?

Is there something wrong with me?

From the outside, it can seem like there’s no room left in their hearts for new friendships.

Trying to make sense of this question in my heart, I turned (somewhat ironically) to ChatGPT and asked, “What are signs someone truly considers you a friend?”

Here’s what it said:

    •    They choose you—they reach out first, invite you places, or check in “just because.”

    •    They share real things—not just surface-level conversation, but struggles and stories.

    •    They remember details—your kids’ names, important dates, what matters to you.

    •    They show up—for celebrations and for hard moments.

    •    They’re comfortable being themselves around you.

    •    They listen—not just waiting for their turn to talk.

    •    They speak well of you when you’re not around.

    •    They respect your boundaries.

    •    They make time, even when life is busy.

    •    They work through misunderstandings instead of disappearing.

Three of these struck my heart deeply: they make time, they choose you, and they listen.

The more I sat with those words, the more my heart ached, not just for myself, but for the many women who have never experienced this kind of pursuit, or who are quietly praying that someone would see them and love them this way.

Scripture immediately came to mind, two moments where Christ models this kind of pursuit perfectly: the Samaritan woman (John 4) and Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1–10).

Both were deeply lonely. Both were isolated by shame, circumstance, and the labels society placed on them. And both were chosen.

Jesus went out of His way to meet them where they were. He didn’t wait for them to be healed, respectable, or put together. He entered their isolation and brought belonging. He met them in shame and brought freedom. He met them in loneliness and brought new life, most importantly, new life in Him. Which then overflowed into new relationships and community.

“Give me a drink,” He says to the Samaritan woman.

“Zacchaeus, come down quickly, for today I must stay at your house,” He says in Luke’s Gospel.

Jesus made time.

Jesus chose them.

Jesus listened.

He stretched out His hand in friendship and created space for transformation.

And like Christ, we are called to do the same.

If we truly believe we are His hands and feet, then our hearts must always have room for more of His children. Yet in our flesh, we gravitate toward what is comfortable, closing ourselves off, investing in protecting our time and emotional energy.

But Christ shows us a different way.

He met the rich and the poor, the joyful and the brokenhearted. With every encounter, He allowed His heart to expand. And we see the fullness of that love in the ultimate gift, His life, given completely.

So let us make room in our hearts for more.

Let us pursue well.

Let us give generously of ourselves to those the Lord places in our lives.

Prayer

Come, Holy Spirit.

Lord Jesus, make room in my heart for more of Your children.

Teach me how to pursue as You pursue.

Amen.