The Simple Gospel

By: Brenda Wieneke

If I had to pick a theme for the last four months, I would say “the Father’s love” or simply “Father.” Both have been coming up a lot for me lately. After ignoring it for a while, something happened that forced me to stop and really reflect on it.

A couple of weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a friend, and she asked me, “What image do you get when you think of God the Father?” I remember saying that I don’t really see an image. What comes to mind is a big, empty room. There’s a presence in the room, but I can’t see or feel it. I know something is there, but I don’t have a relationship with it. I respect it and would do whatever it asks of me, but there’s no closeness.

As I reflected on my answer, I realized it mirrors my relationship with my earthly father which is essentially nonexistent. The last time I spoke to him was in 2021. Things had been building up for years, things I overlooked time and time again, but for my own well-being, I had to cut ties.

For years, when I thought of God the Father, I associated Him with my earthly father someone I deeply loved but did not feel loved by in return. Someone who hurt me and broke something in the little girl inside of me. Someone I loved, yet feared. Someone inconsistent. Someone I could never truly count on because I was let down over and over again. Someone who took from me but never gave. Someone who never seemed to care who abandoned me before I was even born and continued to do so throughout my life. Someone who disowned me.

But my Father in Heaven saw how deeply broken I was because of my earthly father. He knew my whole being needed healing, little by little, because my image of Him had been so distorted. He approached me gently, over time, giving me the space to receive Him for who He truly is. Instead of forcing Himself into the broken image I had, He began painting His own image of Himself on my heart.

I believe He has been doing this for years, but in the last four months, He has given me the grace to actually recognize it to see glimpses of the image He’s been painting.

Even though my dad disowned me when my mom was pregnant, she still wanted me to form my own view of him as I grew up not one based on her experience. Before I met him, I had this deep love in my heart for my dad. It felt like he could do no wrong. But when I finally met him, that image slowly faded.

I came to know a father who would leave for months at a time, and when he returned, he was often so drunk he could barely walk. The money he had was spent on alcohol and other women. There were times we went weeks without food, and we considered ourselves lucky if we had even a cup of rice. He created a chaotic home, with children from multiple women, which left me constantly questioning if I even belonged.

That feeling of not belonging stayed with me for years. The only place I have truly felt a sense of belonging is within my marriage and the family the Lord has created through us. And the Lord knew that what I desired most was to belong fully in my identity as His daughter.

Three weeks ago, the Lord brought me into a deeper step of that healing by leading me into solitude. I had planned to go on a pilgrimage to Rome while Jake took the kids to Arizona. But I faced one obstacle after another flight delays, ticket issues, weather problems, even sleeping at the airport. Eventually, I realized the Lord was calling me back home.

I remember driving home, crying, asking, “Lord, why? Why does this always happen to me? Do You even love me?” In that moment, I felt abandoned again. My distorted view of Him came rushing back thoughts like, “He doesn’t care about me” and “He always leaves me stranded when I need Him most.” I let it all out.

But as my heart began to settle, I started noticing the small graces He had given me throughout that difficult day. Slowly, my heart softened.

Instead of running from Him during that week alone at home, I chose to lean in, to press into who God the Father truly is.

As I let go, He began to paint His image more clearly on my heart. I encountered Him daily at Mass, receiving Him in the Eucharist, sitting with Him in adoration, waking early for mental prayer, and reading The Way of Trust and Love by Fr. Jacques Philippe.

Through that time, He began healing the broken image I had of Him.

By the end of what I now call my “silent retreat,” I could hear Him say how proud He is of me. The same Father who breathed life into me, who created me in His image, was now restoring my identity as His daughter. He breathes His Holy Spirit, Truth and Love into me, increasing my capacity to love and deepening my desire to carry the light of His Son to everyone I meet.

To close that week, the verse that stayed with me was Matthew 17:5:

“This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to Him.”

And in that, I heard the truth spoken over my own heart:

I am His beloved.

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Prayer

Matthew 17:5

“While He was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud cast a shadow over them. Then from the cloud came a voice that said, ‘This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to Him.’”